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THE MACHINE IN TOWN.

Dear Diary

Flabbergastery:

Today we strolled downtown for the usual humdrum afternoon, but instead, there was a great commotion. A gigantic machine had simply manifested itself right there in the main street..

It wasn't the traffic confusion that was the biggest impact but the sheer flabbergastery of it all. "Whaddya mean I can't use flabbergastery because it's not a word. It is a word. If lots of people are flabbergasted then there's a lot of flabbergastry around, right? Well we can't use flabbergastication!"

Digressions Aside:

There it was in all its splendour. Brand new and perfectly functioning, under warranty if it has one, double your money back guarantee; not to mention self replicating and complete with an auto-maintenance function. Patented, no doubt. Even got a user manual in PDF.

Everyone stood awestruck like little kiddies at their first bunfight. It zipped and whirred, and chugged a bit. Then the lights flashed green and blue. What an event, what an event! Nothing like this had ever happened before, oh, wait a minuite, yes it has. Well, not in my lifetime, but it's well documented.

The Big Bangquet:

Way back there when the universe wasn't even old enough to wear diapers let alone short pants, there was a big bang, which came out of nothing. Yeah! Nothing, nothing at all, and without any reason. I mean it stands to reason that if nothing was there then there couldn't be a reason, could there? I guess that's reasonable.

So this big bang went bang and nothing came out of nowhere as everything everywhere, and squirted into being as a whopping giant cloud of superheated megacatacsysmical swirling gas and stuff and, over millions of years it gradually cooled and everything, and became the universe that we so lovingly know today. Wow!

Small Fry:

Of course our little, gigantic machine wasn't as big and elaborate as the big, gigantic machine we call the universe, but it did have many similarities, so we were not at all disappointed that it wasn't super huge ('cause if it was we'd have been squashed, so I'm actually glad it was only a littlie, relatively speaking, you know), and because it was smaller, it didn't take millions of years, just a few minutes.

So tell everyone that this wonderful machine has just self-manifested right here, and they'll have to believe you because they all believe the scientists about the universe.